You know how some words make you cringe?  One that has made me duck my head and brace my shoulders is “discipline.”  Which is kind of funny because I’m very self-motivated and will always get done what needs doing, but...like most people, there are things I just can’t seem to lean into for the long-term.  Anyone who has started a wellness habit they couldn’t maintain can relate! 

But after a recent stay at a Benedictine monastery, a gift of experience from and with my oldest daughter, I’ve been reconsidering my relationship to discipline. In the monastery, the monks commit to a discipline of spiritual focus through a balance of prayer, physical and intellectual work, frequent liturgical prayer and deep hospitality. I was so inspired by their focus and the resulting peace that surrounded them and the whole place that I began a practice there several weeks ago that was deeply sustaining. Since then I’ve been exploring my own ways to determine what I can do to support maintaining it. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned:

Explore your motivation!
If what you’re aiming for doesn’t align with your core values and what you really care about, it’s a fair bet that it will fall by the wayside.  Would I love to have tone arms that look great in a tank top? Sure.  But more than aesthetics, what I really care about is being physically comfortable in my body and being able to do what I care about doing.  Looking at what is actually important to us personally helps us figure out what we’ll prioritize. 

Words Matter
Once you know what you care about, you can decide on whether what you’re working on is something you want to make a daily habit toward a short-term goal, and something that’s a deep, long-term change that reflects who you are, your identity. An interesting approach is to think about the words you use. First of all, acknowledge that whatever you do is a choice—vs an obligation.  Even a discipline must start with the choice to practice consistency. 
So own your power!  “Today I chose to rest” is different than, “I’m a sloth.”  It acknowledges that these were choices that can be different. 

The other cool word trick is to use your values to form an identity.  This can start with the words we use.  Here’s a power move. Verbs are what we do. Nouns (and many of our adjectives) are who we are.  Here’s the difference. “I meditate” tells yourself what you do (sometimes?!). “I am a meditator” identifies a permanent identity.  And the cool thing is, our brain loves to align our actions with our identity. (This is also why labels can be so dangerous, so choose carefully!). When a chosen noun is your identity, it seems more out of character when you skip something vs. just a missed “chore.” It makes your practice part of who you are rather than just one more thing to do. When you believe that you’re an honest person, it’s uncomfortable telling a lie!  And when you know yourself as a loving partner, you’re more likely to find ways to be a better partner—to listen, to adapt, to act in ways that support the partnership.

Things Change and So Will You
The beautiful thing about choosing to build an identity is that the habits and practices behind it are constantly evolving.  For instance, I’ve been a deeply spiritual person for a long time, longer than I can consciously identify. But the ways in which that manifests have changed along the way as my experiences, circumstances and understanding have changed.  The identity hasn’t changed. I’m still spiritually connected to Source. But now the verbs have changed.  I meditate.  I maintain quiet to listen for at least half an hour almost every morning before launching into the day. I care for myself beautifully so that my physical, mental and emotional loads don’t interfere with my grounding in Spirit. Do you see how that one identification informs the verbs, the doing of my life? 

Did my spiritual practice always look just like this?  Absolutely not!  When I had small children there was zero chance that I had a consistent, quiet half hour to myself every morning before the day launched. At that time, my practices revolved more around yoga that I put into my calendar diligently and really, really appreciating the wonder of my children as much as I could in the chaos of childrearing.  I could have beaten myself up for what I didn’t do (meditate daily, for instance) or I could institute what was possible for me at the time.  In retrospect, I see that my actions changed over time in support of what was core to me.

We are all a work in progress, until we die!  But we get to choose to embrace the journey compassionately and evolve consciously. 

So here’s a challenge: Be gentle with yourself-- but explore who you want to be and go there, be that.  Know that the “how” may change, but when your identity forms a roadmap, the path to the “who” you are flows more graciously.   

Who are you?
I am a generous people-lover.
I am a teacher and healer.
I am a wonderful friend.
I am…fill in your blanks!

You can embrace the discipline of self-study and informed action as part of nurturing who you are and who you want to be.  Rather than a burden, discipline becomes a critical tool for empowerment.  If the word still bothers you, think of “practice.”  Choose practices that support your values and see how you unfold.

Recently as part of my own self-study, I was challenged to create 12 positive affirmations that I would repeat 12 times every day, and better yet, day and night for 12 days. This isn’t entirely new to me. I’ve explored how our messaging affects our behavior for many years.  My yoga students have definitely heard me say, “You are what you think.”  But this felt like a big enough commitment of time that I decided to dig into the practice further.
 
In the work I do both as an energy medicine practitioner and a yoga teacher, my clients and I have often run smack into their limiting old thought patterns and beliefs. Frequently the patterns have been identified in self-study, even therapy. Whether conscious or unconscious, they shape perspective and responses, frequently in ways that add up to serious pain and even dysfunction. But the challenge often persists:  HOW do we let go of limiting thoughts?
 
Neuroscience backs the practice of using positive affirmations as one way to help us move beyond negative and self-defeating thoughts which arise from often deeply unconscious beliefs.  Affirmations can rewire the brain, reduce stress and promote healthy behaviors.  They help us to form new habits, combat negative rumination and strengthen our resilience.  I’ve linked to several great resources that illuminate the science behind why using positive affirmations can help us at the end of this blog, but here’s an overview:

• Brain Rewiring (Neuroplasticity): Affirmations allow the brain to form new neural pathways, replacing negative thought patterns with positive ones.  These form the ways we respond, like a roadmap to action.
• Brain Activity Shifts: MRI evidence shows that self-affirmation activates brain regions associated with how we see ourselves, allowing us to expand our sense of capability to “keep improving” based on what we value.
• Reduced Stress and Better Performance: Research shows that affirmations can lower cortisol levels—the stress hormone—and improve problem-solving performance under pressure.
• Health and Behavior Changes: Regular affirmations can motivate behavioral changes, such as increased physical exercise or improved academic performance-even when the affirmation doesn’t relate directly to these goals. 

According to Positive Psychology.com, one of the key psychological theories behind positive affirmations is self-affirmation theory.  According to Dr. David Hamilton in The Science of Affirmation:
“Through self-affirmation, we keep a global narrative about ourselves that makes up our self-identity. Self-affirmations make our self-identity more flexible. We can see ourselves as adopting a range of different identities and roles. If our identity is flexible, we can adapt much better to different situations and environments. It’s about an overall feeling of being competent and adequate.” https://drdavidhamilton.com/the-science-of-affirmations/#:~:text=The%20science%20behind%20affirmations%20includes:%20*%20**Brain,higher%20intentions%20to%20exercise%20in%20the%20future

Affirmations directly challenge old, rigid ways we might have seen or operated, helping us open to new responses.  What I like about the practice is that it makes us receptive to a new way of seeing and being rather than reinforcing what we don’t want, or where we feel lacking or broken. This is a practice of allowing the good we want for ourselves.

The most effective affirmations reflect our core values.  Often they challenge our negative or maladaptive thoughts (you know the ones that dart in uninvited!). Any harmful self-talk that sounds off like an old tape playing over and over might benefit from a reboot through effective affirmations.

In yoga we call this call and response of habit and reaction “samskara.” They are the deeply worn grooves of habit that send us down the same paths, like worn in ruts in an old dirt road that we keep falling back into.  To take a new way requires some energy, but it’s easier once we’ve set up some new pathways. That’s where affirmations come into play. New thoughts expand our map and offer newly expanded vistas.

Tips for Effective Self-Affirmations:
1)    Do a little self-inventory.  Make a list of what you truly care about-what kind of person you want to be and what things tend to challenge you. 
(ie. Old thought: I always eat unhealthy food when I’m stressed, or If I don’t take care of others even when I’m falling apart, I won’t be loved.)

2)    Create some positive, present-tense statements that affirm what you want to create.  Feel free to be narrow or broad, as needed.
(To counter our examples, you could say,
“I care for myself beautifully.”  If that’s too far a step from where you are, get more specific.  “I use many tools besides eating to cope with stress.”  Maybe that’s more possible and it leads to a road where you choose other things at least most of the time.
“I love myself with healthy boundaries which allows me to love and care for others effectively.”  Here you are already loved (by yourself!) and you are able to radiate caring without strings, which tends to produce happier, cleaner results.)

3)    Get specific about what you REALLY want.  Is your biggest goal to actually be rich?  Or do you want abundant opportunity and more ease?  If you think you want a thin body, are you really looking to feel healthy and enjoy being in your body?  Are you hoping people will respond to you differently?  These are the kernels that will help you target in on the right affirmations for you.  Think chewable bites!

4)    Repeat your affirmations day and night.  Morning affirmations set the conscious intentions that helps you stay aware of the “brain highways” you’re making.  And nighttime affirmations take advantage of the time when the mind is processing without mind interference, so we are best able to rewire our neuronal pathways.

When we are able to deal with negative messages and replace them with positive beliefs, we can construct more adaptive, hopeful narratives about who we are and what we can accomplish.  This literally changes us. In my work as a Sacred Anatomy Medicine practitioner, we call this “opening to possibility.”  We don’t expect to be perfect, but we know that we are capable of positive change, and that opens us up to miraculous shifts.

So, I have about a dozen self-affirmations I’m saying every morning and every evening before sleep.  I’m not beating myself up about the exact number of times I say it, but I do take time to notice how they’re landing in my body.  Does one stick every time I say it?  Maybe I need to tweak or reexamine it a bit more?  I know I’ve got it about right when my mind and body feel relatively comfortable, sometimes even lit up. 

If you’re interested, here are a few online articles that I studied, many of which contain additional links that are fascinating!

Hamilton, Dr. David (January 27, 2022). The Science of Affirmations. Better You Back By Science.
https://drdavidhamilton.com/the-science-of-affirmations/#:~:text=The%20science%20behind%20affirmations%20includes:%20*%20**Brain,higher%20intentions%20to%20exercise%20in%20the%20future

Barna Raluca. (January 27, 2022). Positive Affirmations: Woo-woo or Science? Medium.
https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/positive-affirmations-woo-woo-or-science-859b70f062e0

Moore, Catherine. (July 14, 2026). Positive Daily Affirmations: Is There Science Behind It?  Positive Psychology
https://positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/
​

For some reason, when I saw this flower, it struck me as commanding.  It commanded my attention and it made me think about what makes US a force?  What allows us to show up and bloom in our own lives?  For me, that is being embodied.  It's showing up connected to our whole self, present and open to each moment.  Because presence is always in the NOW.  Which means we aren't laden with the weight of our past, or fearful about the future.  We show up ready to meet the needs of THIS moment--and that's compelling.  We're owning who we are and showing up fully.  
 
Why do we care if WE are commanding?  I don't mean commanding as in, "I'm going to get my way and force others to bend to my will."  I mean commanding as in, "Here I am, ready to own who I am and to share it in the world". That's compelling and powerful.  How do we do that?  

We've done exercises in class where we slouch, caving our hearts back.  We let our heads drop forward with our gazes downward.  We sit with that posture and notice how we feel.  Try it yourself.  How does it feel?  What would it be like to meet others from this space? 
 
Now let's try this.  Lift the crown of your head and the top of your chest up to the sky.  Spread your collar bones wide. The spine is elongated and the heart faces forward into the world. How does this feel?  It may feel different physically.  How does it feel when you think of interacting with others?  
 
For most of us, the sunken heart, head down posture makes us feel defensive, vulnerable and closed off.  But the opposite is true when we lift our head and heart.  Here is the posture of someone ready to engage!  And we feel that.  We feel more open.  We feel more alert.  We are those things and we enter our lives ready to take command. 
 
Mostly, our posture is somewhat unconscious.  It develops over time as we respond to the world.  And the world can be tough!  We can subconsciously begin to brace ourselves.  Or hide ourselves away.  And the world responds to that person.  And you respond AS that person.  But we can become conscious and choose to dismantle our old habits, be they postural or the beliefs that grew up as we braced for the next tough thing or responded by closing ourselves away.
 
We can awaken and step into the truth of who we are, tapping into that power.
 
To me, it starts with remembering who I am.  In yoga, we reference the "spark of the divine" which refers to the inherent divinity, innate intelligence and spiritual consciousness within every person.  And because we hold that spark, we are always connected to the Divine consciousness.  We are one with all. Through our yoga practice as we develop our conscious presence, we fan that spark into a radiant flame that connects us to a greater understanding of the universe and our true selves.  We move from a place of more stability and peace, power and potential.
 
Does that mean awful, random things won't happen to us?  Of course not, but being present, awake and available in our lives gives us more capacity to meet ALL the ups and downs of our human experience.  It gives us access to the truth of who we are, an embodiment of the divine consciousness, and that can empower us to make our mark. 

This is beautiful Bodega Bay in California, a rocky inlet of the Pacific Ocean.  It was a spectacular, powerful place that hosted part of my workshop on deepening our ability to listen to and sense the world around and within us.  I learned so much there, but one of the most powerful lessons concerned witnessing and being witnessed with pure presence and how it helps us to form healthy boundaries rather than destructive barriers with the world around us.  Doesn't our world need more of that?!

We talk about our "Inner Witness" frequently in yoga.  One of the great goals of our practice is to develop the capability of sitting in our center to find that mindful inner awareness devoid of judgement and attachments to story.  It's a practice, as in we have to keep practicing because it's hard!  Our lives are full of emotional pulls that keep us mired in the stories.  Our physical experiences, fed by and feeding those emotional reactions, are really compelling. 

But one of the benefits of developing our witnessing capabilities is that it helps us to form healthy boundaries--rather than destructive barriers that keep us cut off from our own deepest Truth and productive and fulfilling interactions with the world.  

This is such an essential skill --one our world desperately needs--that I am prioritizing sharing HOW to do this.  I've got a free seminar introducing some of the concepts on Oct. 4 and the 3-hour workshop on October 18.  Check out www.fundamentalyoga.net/special-events.html for more information about the events.

In the Edge Express you will learn to:

• Be more present in your life
• Ground safely into your own energy structure
• Contain your own chi field for more energy
• Interact compassionately without enmeshing with others
• Calm your racing monkey mind
• Stop using your own electromagnetic field, especially during healing work
• Develop an empowered life stance in tune with the Universe 

I was walking in the West Parish Cemetery this weekend and amongst all the beautiful trees I saw this cluster of bright leaves.  It seemed a little early for them to turn so I took a closer look.  Many of the leaves on this tree were browning at the edges and here and there were these bright clusters of leaves looking all ready for their fall. 

Last week in classes we talked about how important it is to dream and imagine.  Gloria Steinham said, “Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.” 

I fully embrace the need to dream, to give ourselves time to imagine new ways of solving problems, relating to others and breaking free from our old paradigms. 

In the process of using our imaginations, we can generate new paths, new awareness about what’s important to us, and even new goals.  And yet…those goals themselves can become their own limiting boxes.  Which leads me to the 38 Special song, “Hold on Loosely.”  In the chorus they sing,
“So hold on loosely, but don’t let go.
If you cling too tightly, you’re gonna lose control.
Your baby needs someone to believe in,
And a whole lot of space to breathe in…
So hold on loosely, but don’t let go.
If you cling to tightly, your gonna lose it, you’re gonna lose control.”

Good advice for relationships, yes!  But also good advice for us.  Hold your dreams loosely.  Give them space to breathe and develop amidst all the twists and turns that come our way.  Which brings me back to my tree friend with the yellow leaves.  It had it’s mission.  It produced a crown full of gorgeous leaves.  But in the stress of our current climate, it made a minor course correction.  It let some of the leaves turn yellow in preparation for letting them go early.  And the tree will continue, not feeding what it can’t or shouldn’t sustain.  Once again, nature instructs us on how to work with the world’s natural rhythms.  Thank you, nature!

We, too, need to hold our dreams and plans loosely and be willing  to make adjustments.  Rigidity is perhaps the enemy.  As we learn to let go a bit, we develop the flexibility and openness to flow in ways we might never have imagined.  It's a discipline!  Oh how we love the illusion of control.  But we can keep our focus on the long-term goals and let go of our belief that there's only "one way" to get there.  We may find that even our most difficult obstacles shine a light on a new path.

​Let the sun set and welcome a new day!  Sometimes, we are so ingrained in the way things have been that we forget that each day is new, and so are the possibilities that go with it.  We become rigid and shut down to the newness around us.  Think about it.  What shuts you down?  Are you rushed?  Have you felt inadequate, judged or blamed?  Are we controlled by our habits? All these things undermine our ability to trust ourselves and our ability to use new information or see new ways of doing and being.  
 
One of the books I’ve referenced for years is Move into Life by Anat Baniel.  The book explores how the brain works and offers ways to wake it up so that we stay vital and resilient.  In yoga we call it “beginner’s mind,” approaching everything without preconceptions and with a joyful enthusiasm to learn—as if our experience was entirely new.  The author's methodology turns to the science of neuroplasticity and what she calls the “learning switch” to help us continue creating new neurons and connections.  This approach helps us break out of stagnation to increase our physical comfort and functioning, as well as to enhance our clarity, creativity and joy. 
 
Whether through injury, trauma or the inertia of routines and habits, our brains become less resilient.  Research shows that in middle age brain cells start to die off at a fast pace.  But the production of brain cells continues and can be enhanced.  For instance, we know that even with moderate exercise, new brain cells begin branching out to other brain cells and form new connections.  Our habits, beliefs and attitudes can form limitations in thoughts and movements, but stimulating our brains creates vitality and ease.  These come about when we move beyond what we “know” into flexibility, creativity and possibility.
 
I hadn’t reached for this book in awhile but recently pulled it out—and laughed at how parallel it’s messages are to the things we’ve been working on over the last year.  Here’s a quick sum-up of the “Nine Essentials of NeuroMovement,” the system that Baniel practices:

1. Movement with attention-mindfulness in action!
2. Engage the learning switch—notice the small differences even in rote things.  Noticing newness wakes the brain.
3. Subtlety-find new zest by noticing the littlest shifts and nuances.
4. Variation-awaken the senses and open new doors to playfulness and growth.
5. Slow-this gets the brain’s attention and gives it time to integrate.
6. Enthusiasm-this is our amplifier that helps us really focus and transform our experiences.
7. Flexible goals-"holding our goals loosely" gives the brain opportunities to discover new ways of achieving our dreams.
8. Imagination and dreams-they allow us to move beyond our limits to create new possibilities.
9. Awareness-blows apart expectation by bringing us into the present moment.

 
I find it inspiring and empowering to realize that we have unlimited capacity because of the miracle of the ever-changing, evolving richness and texture to our lives.   As we embrace and notice this cornucopia of experience, we awaken and expand along with it.  We are made new in every moment!